Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Camp

1. I go to bed at 9:30 PM and I like it.

2. The sunset on Lake George is the most beautiful thing ever.

3. Walkie chatter is more amusing then most TV shoes you could ever watch.

4. You can't have performance anxiety over coiling a rope

5. Moving cabins and activities defines who you are.

6. Walking up cardio hill every day is more exercise than the average american gets in a week

7. Still miss my friends, but it's more of a dull pain.

Au revoir

I leave tomorrow morning and I am a total and absolute wreck. I don’t want to do this. The past few days have been awful; my stomach has been cramped, my skin has been breaking out, I haven’t been able to breathe, and I’ve had several minor panic attacks whenever I start thinking about camp.

This is such a bad idea. I miss my friends so much already and I’m going to miss the comfort of home as soon as I get through security at the airport again. I don’t want to go surround myself with trees, people who don’t like me very much, and traditions that I am not a part of. That’s not fun. I don’t want to do it.

I’ve spent the last few days plotting with my friends on all the diseases I could come up with just so I can come home: menegitis? Polio? Hepatits? It’s just so much easier now for me to go out there and be miserable than for me to back out now. I have so much control over the rest of my life, I don’t know why I let uncertainty and doubt fill my summers.

Honestly, I’m so low right now that the only place to go is up. I just really don’t think that it’s going to be okay.

An Introducton

In exactly one week, I leave Illinois until I come back during the second week of December (minus one week in August)…and apparently that’s a pretty big deal. I’m going to upstate New York for camp for 2 months and then I’m going to Morocco for four months. I know, in the long-term, that hardly seems to be very long and very adventurous, but I feel it warrants some kind of official documentation for everyone to see.

I just got back from my visit down to school. It was the last chance that I’m going to have to see most people until January or even May. We said good-bye in the usual way and now my clothes smell like card games, smoke, and wheat beer. I somehow combined almost all my vices and lots of my favorite people into one night. Excellent.

The idea of going back to New York has been stressing me out like crazy. I’m sure once I’m there, I’ll be fine, but until then I expect another panic attack and a few childish tantrums. Last year, my experience pretty much just mirrored someone with minor bipolar disorder. Some days were really, really bad and then some days were absolutely amazing. I think the fact that I have realistic expectations will make this summer better. I’ve also grown up a lot since then so I’m hoping that I’ll actually be able to take things at face value.

Morocco is still an open book. I don’t know where I’m living, what I’m taking, or what I want to get out of the experience. The only thing that is clear is what I’m leaving behind. I’m scared to death, but I’m sure it’ll be okay. I want to live my life and Morocco seems like an excellent place to start. I can get all my French and Arabic in one place.

Unusual travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-Kurt Vonnegut

A good traveler is one who does not know where he is going, and a perfect traveler does not know where he came from.
-Lin Yutang